excuses.js

export const CATEGORIES = [
  { key: 'all', label: 'All' },
  { key: 'physical', label: 'Body' },
  { key: 'mental', label: 'Nerves' },
  { key: 'equipment', label: 'Kit' },
  { key: 'weather', label: 'Weather' },
  { key: 'course', label: 'Course' },
  { key: 'distraction', label: 'Distractions' },
  { key: 'bad_luck', label: 'Luck' },
  { key: 'skill', label: 'Swing' },
];

export const EXCUSES = [
  { text: "Leg day.", tags: ['physical'] },
  { text: "Back's tight.", tags: ['physical'] },
  { text: "Two hours of sleep.", tags: ['physical'] },
  { text: "I slipped.", tags: ['physical'] },
  { text: "Jacket's too tight.", tags: ['physical'] },
  { text: "Too bloated to rotate.", tags: ['physical'] },
  { text: "Lumbago.", tags: ['physical'] },
  { text: "Legs are dead.", tags: ['physical'] },
  { text: "New knees.", tags: ['physical'] },
  { text: "Can't feel anything today.", tags: ['physical'] },
  { text: "Aches and pains.", tags: ['physical'] },
  { text: "Foot slipped.", tags: ['physical'] },
  { text: "Too much coffee, hands shaky.", tags: ['physical'] },
  { text: "Tee time was too early.", tags: ['physical'] },
  { text: "Bad back.", tags: ['physical'] },
  { text: "Tore my Achilles.", tags: ['physical'] },
  { text: "Glutes aren't firing.", tags: ['physical'] },
  { text: "Gym this morning.", tags: ['physical'] },

  { text: "Working on something new.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Overthinking the putt.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "I play better alone.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "No warm up.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "You warmed up, I didn't.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "3-footers kill me.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Still thinking about last year's triple.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Left my swing at home.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Cart path only threw me off.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Was striping it at the range.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Haven't hit the range in weeks.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Worst round in five years.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Just once, my normal game.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Didn't want to fly the green.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Pin's tucked too tight.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Never charge a downhill putt.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "30-footers? Easy. 3-footers? Done.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Practice green? Money. Course? Gone.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Negative thoughts.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Lost concentration.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "New course.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Visualized the wrong shot.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Should've watched a tips video.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Never taken a lesson.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Haven't played in 3 years.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Didn't play as a kid.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Over-practiced.", tags: ['mental'] },

  { text: "Wrong club.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Need a ball that goes straight.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Defective ball.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Need new clubs.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "150 marker's wrong.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Glove's too tight.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Wrong ball.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Cracked tee.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Love these new clubs!", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Hate these new clubs!", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Ball's cracked.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "I hate that driver.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Obviously the wrong club.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Yardage must be wrong.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Defective ball, statistically.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Kids' clubs all week.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Grooves are worn out.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Between clubs. Picked wrong.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Sand wedge has a mind of its own.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Putter face was open.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Plumb bob lied.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Changed putters before the round.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Trying new balls.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Rangefinder lied.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Breaking in new grips.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Lucky ball's in the water.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Should've clubbed up.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Testing a new shaft.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "App gave wrong distance.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Worn-out shoe soles.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Putter's twisted.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Ball's ruined.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "It's my loft.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Forgot to charge my clubs.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "GPS said 150. Rangefinder said 145. Hit 200.", tags: ['equipment'] },

  { text: "Barometric pressure.", tags: ['weather'] },
  { text: "The glare.", tags: ['weather'] },
  { text: "Too hot.", tags: ['weather'] },
  { text: "Too cold.", tags: ['weather'] },
  { text: "Could barely swing, too cold.", tags: ['weather'] },
  { text: "Wind picked up mid-swing.", tags: ['weather'] },
  { text: "Sun in my eyes.", tags: ['weather'] },
  { text: "Wind changed.", tags: ['weather'] },
  { text: "Too sunny.", tags: ['weather'] },
  { text: "Wind got it.", tags: ['weather'] },
  { text: "Wind took it.", tags: ['weather'] },
  { text: "Sudden gust, did you feel that?", tags: ['weather'] },
  { text: "Hands too sweaty.", tags: ['weather'] },
  { text: "Ball feels like a rock.", tags: ['weather'] },
  { text: "Can't play in this heat.", tags: ['weather'] },
  { text: "Wind didn't cooperate.", tags: ['weather'] },
  { text: "Wind carried it over.", tags: ['weather'] },
  { text: "Frickin' wind!", tags: ['weather'] },

  { text: "Course was too wet.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Uneven greens.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Grass was wrong length.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Sprinkler head.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Bad lie.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Rolled too far.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Didn't roll at all.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Putt broke more than expected.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Greens are too fast.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Greens are too bumpy.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Hate this bunker sand.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Sand was too fluffy.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Greens aren't watered enough.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Too much dew.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Fringe was against me.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Ball sitting down in the rough.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Stimp's at least 14.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Grain went the other way.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Spike marks.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Cruel pin placement.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "That divot wasn't there yesterday.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Mud ball.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Ground too soft.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Lie was worse than it looked.", tags: ['course'] },

  { text: "Someone talked in my backswing.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Someone hollered.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Heard a glove come off.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Group ahead is too slow.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Squirrel stared at me.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Standing too close.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Someone coughed.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Bug in my face.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Phone's dead, can't focus.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Cart whiplash.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Got rushed.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Stop laughing.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Too much waiting.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Group behind is too fast.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Airplane flew over.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Bird dive-bombed me.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Someone smacking gum.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Don't talk to my ball.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Groundhog.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Somebody moved.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Shadow crossed my line.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Saw my shadow.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Watch buzzed.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Marshal was staring.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Partner breathed too loud.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "There was a bee!", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Phone vibrated.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Did you hear that???", tags: ['distraction'] },

  { text: "Rolled back into the bunker.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Unlucky bounce.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Bounces weren't going my way.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Was this OB last week?", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Who planted that tree?", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Who puts a bunker there?", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Bunker lip was way higher.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Golf Gods hate me.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Ball mark changed the break.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Ball aimed for the water.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Found water with no hazard.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Course swallowed it.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Trees jumped out.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Hole rejected me.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Bad luck.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Perfect if that tree wasn't there.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Ball had other plans.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },

  { text: "New swing, bedding it in.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Inconsistency is my trademark.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Fly fishing or golfing?", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Lifted my head.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Swinging like a football bat.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Failed to snap load.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Tee too low.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Tee too high.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Skulled the chip.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Bump-and-run didn't bump or run.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Decelerated.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Didn't commit.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Looked up.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Arms ahead of hips.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Weird hitch.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Inside out.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Hit behind it.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Face was open.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Hosel rocket.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Heeled it.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Right line, wrong speed.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Right speed, wrong line.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Left my draws at home.", tags: ['skill'] },

  { text: "Good bogey hole.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Not losing my Tour card.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "I usually slice, why is it straight?", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Great at mini golf.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Hole's not regulation.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Gonna be one heck of a par.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Thinking about going pro.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Too strong for this game.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Lie was too perfect.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Green read it differently.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Hole moved.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Aggressive green reading.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Nice lag.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "That's not OB, alternative fairway.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "I know where it is. Can't get to it.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Scenic route to the green.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "It's a power fade.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "At least I go again.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Different strategy.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Saving good shots for the back nine.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Prefer the rough.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Ball just disagreed.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Strategic fairway search.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Right shot, wrong hole.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Problem happened after impact.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Better angle from here.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Ball usually listens.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Playing it like the architect intended.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Paid for the whole course.", tags: ['mental'] },

  { text: "Got hit by a car.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Underwear riding up.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Snake might be in there.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Need a manicure first.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Standing too close to the course.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Wind in my eyes.", tags: ['weather'] },
  { text: "Pick up for a double?", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Told Beyoncé not to text me.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Earth's rotation.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Left-handed ball.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Born insufficiently talented.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Stepped on the rake.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Four putts build character.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Yelled fore, ball didn't listen.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "One under a tree, bush, and water.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Don't have a caddie.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Mostly moved earth.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "That's why I ate that.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Mulligan on each hole.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "What game is this?", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "I blinked.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Pulled a muscle reaching for scorecard.", tags: ['physical'] },
  { text: "Blamed the pants.", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "LOFT — lack of talent.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Need the bathroom.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Spacetime bends left around my driver.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Better if I was better at golf.", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "I was in the pool!", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Earth rotated under it.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Get lessons", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "I’ve got a hip thing from High School baseball", tags: ['physical'] },
  { text: "I'm really getting my moneys worth", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "At least I get to play more golf than you", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "That's where the hole is next week.", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Gravity was unusually strong today", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "I'm working through a swing change", tags: ['skill'] },
  { text: "Wind grabbed it out of the air", tags: ['weather'] },
  { text: "Had to be mud on that ball", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "I just started using these new balls, and they are NOT what I am used to", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Did you hear that?!? Right in my backswing…..", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "I think the GPS on these carts is WAY off", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "My neck is so stiff, I think I slept wrong last night", tags: ['physical'] },
  { text: "This tee box is not level at all", tags: ['course'] },
  { text: "Can’t believe I hit it straight, that never happens to me!", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Bird chirped in my backswing", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Accidentally farted in the backswing instead of the down swing.", tags: ['distraction'] },
  { text: "Something's wrong with this club", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "I didn't account for the Coriolis effect.", tags: ['bad_luck'] },
  { text: "Still figuring these clubs out", tags: ['equipment'] },
  { text: "Forgot to breathe on the backswing.", tags: ['mental'] },
  { text: "Just scouting the next hole.", tags: ['distraction'] },
];

export const EXCUSE_COUNT = EXCUSES.length;

const TEXT_TO_NUMBER = new Map(EXCUSES.map((e, i) => [e.text, i + 1]));

export function getExcuseNumber(text) {
  return TEXT_TO_NUMBER.get(text) || null;
}

export const CATEGORY_KEYS = CATEGORIES.filter((c) => c.key !== 'all').map((c) => c.key);

export const CATEGORY_META = {
  physical: {
    label: 'Body',
    headline: 'Body & Injury Excuses',
    blurb: 'Tight back, dead legs, two hours of sleep. The classics for when the body is the alibi.',
  },
  mental: {
    label: 'Nerves',
    headline: 'Mental Game Excuses',
    blurb: 'Overthinking the putt, no warm-up, working on something new. For when the round was lost between the ears.',
  },
  equipment: {
    label: 'Kit',
    headline: 'Equipment Excuses',
    blurb: 'Wrong club, defective ball, twisted putter. Blame the gear — that is what it is for.',
  },
  weather: {
    label: 'Weather',
    headline: 'Weather Excuses',
    blurb: 'Wind, glare, barometric pressure, suspicious humidity. The atmosphere is rarely innocent.',
  },
  course: {
    label: 'Course',
    headline: 'Course Condition Excuses',
    blurb: 'Aerated greens, fast carts, unmown rough. The golf course did not want you to score.',
  },
  distraction: {
    label: 'Distractions',
    headline: 'Distraction Excuses',
    blurb: 'A bird, a fart, a coin in the next group. Something moved at the wrong moment.',
  },
  bad_luck: {
    label: 'Luck',
    headline: 'Bad Luck Excuses',
    blurb: 'Rub-of-the-green rulings — the ball did its own thing.',
  },
  skill: {
    label: 'Swing',
    headline: 'Swing Excuses',
    blurb: 'Mechanics, tempo, a backswing that left town. For days the swing simply was not there.',
  },
};

export function getExcusesByTag(tag) {
  return EXCUSES
    .map((e, i) => ({ text: e.text, tags: e.tags, number: i + 1 }))
    .filter((e) => Array.isArray(e.tags) && e.tags.includes(tag));
}

export const LOADING_MESSAGES = [
  'Consulting the caddie…',
  'Checking the rulebook…',
  'One moment…',
  'Preparing your excuse…',
  'Almost there…',
  'Drawing a new card…',
];

export function getDailyExcuse(excuses) {
  const today = new Date().toISOString().slice(0, 10);
  let hash = 0;
  for (let i = 0; i < today.length; i++) {
    hash = ((hash << 5) - hash) + today.charCodeAt(i);
    hash |= 0;
  }
  return excuses[Math.abs(hash) % excuses.length];
}